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Separation anxiety sucks

It started out good enough. I had a really awesome pregnancy all 9 months with Lennox and the delivery also went pretty smoothly. I was prepared for the exhausting first couple of months. We were lucky with Lennox with many ways coz he was such a mild mannered newborn, he breastfed like a pro and was such a happy and easy baby almost all of the time.

I even flew on my own with him when he was 7 months to Singapore (a 13-hour flight) and it was a breeze! He was happy to be passed around from one person to another while in Singapore and i managed to get some much needed rest with family in Singapore those 5 weeks. Even the flight back to Holland went well. The lady beside me proclaimed Lennox to be the 'best baby on any flight ever'. Man i was beaming. This kid is awesome.

AND THEN SEPARATION ANXIETY STRUCK.

We got home to the Netherlands and he took awhile to warm back to his papa. Cried when he saw Oma (my mother in law). Screamed when people looked at him when he was in his buggy outside. Wailed when neighbours took the lift together with us. Pounded the bathroom door when i was in it. WHAT THE *@#!??? Where is my friendly-not-afraid-of-strangers baby?!?!

So i started reading about the whole separation anxiety thing (in het nederlands: eenkennigheid)  and was convinced it's just a phase.... Right?

How can you get angry at this cheeky face?

I don't know how long phases are supposed to last, but it's been half a year and although it's much better than how it used to be, he's still as clingy as ever. At 15 months now Nox hangs on to me (my leg) for dear life, gets worried and looks for me when i leave the room and yes i have to do number 1 and 2 with the door open. Haha. He's still a happy kid but it sometimes is amazes me how he can be happily playing on own, then suddenly stop and decide that he needs to be beside me. J calls him my shadow that is never more than 1 metre away from me. Annoying shadow yes!!

It gets tiring! I need my space dammit!

But I also know that the best way for him to get over it is for me to be patient and understanding and to comfort him and to say that i'm there with him. And to get him out of situations where he feels uncomfortable (read: strangers who don't see him more than once or twice a year and carries him against his will... hello the kid is crying when you carry him, put him back down!!).

Of course i get my time away from Nox. Jürgen has the occasional papadag (papa day) with him and i regularly get me-time in the gym or out with girlfriends during the week. And it never ceases to amaze me how Nox can survive 8-10 hours away from me.  But yet when im around him he cannot be 8-10 seconds away!?!

But I know this won't last forever. So while i do complain non-stop about having space and sometimes just want to pee and poop in peace, seeing your kid running towards you then throwing his little arms around your neck and giving you a tight hug and wet (open-mouthed) kisses makes it all pretty worth it.



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